1) bacon sent unto his chosen people the laws of bacon so they could truly worship as was intended. 2) the sacred laws were written on the skin of a grey hog in the form of a dream, which was sent unto jasper whist resting 3) in a loagy state.

4) unfortunately, jasper was far too loagy to do anything about it, so he slept 5) until morning and 6) made himself a BLT upon arising.